Stolen

I had been living in Rainier Valley for a little over a year. I had heard stories about several of my friends' cars being stolen...but it had never happened to me. I had this arrogant mentality, thinking that I was the exception to the rule, so I never locked my truck doors. Besides, who would want to take a 40 year-old truck? Especially one that is bright blue and can't go over 70 mph? 

It was in the middle of the week, and as I walked out to the driveway to leave for work in the morning, I stopped as I didn't see my truck. "Did I park it in the back last night?" I jogged to the back of my house, peeking around the corner of my fence looking for a hint of blue. Nope. Nothing. "What in the world? What did I do last night?" I definitely did nothing. I know I parked it in the driveway, which could only mean one thing...somebody took my ol' Datsun. A small feeling of panic rose in my throat as my heart beat faster. I called my boss first; I told him my truck was stolen, I don't think it could've gone far, and I would keep him updated as soon as it's found, but I probably would miss work that day. I called the police next, told them my truck was stolen and gave them all my details. I ran inside because I knew my roommate Kyle was still home, and I could probably borrow his car to drive around and look for it. No one knows that truck like I do. No one can drive it (well, if at all) except for me. 

Kyle gave me his keys, and I drove quickly along the streets around my neighborhood, trying to put myself in the shoes of a car thief, looking for the easiest streets to drive on with that old thing. No luck. I couldn't find it close, and I wasn't about to drive all over Seattle looking for it. Ugh. 

As I went back inside, I plopped down on a chair in my kitchen feeling defeated. Then another feeling set in...rage. I was burning. I had never had anything stolen from me, and for my truck that I had gotten so attached to to be just taken quietly in the night from my driveway...I felt so violated. How could somebody be so selfish and prideful to just take something that isn't theirs? I don't know what I would have done if I had found the people with my truck as I was driving around, but it wouldn't have been pretty. In fact, looking back, I'm pretty sure the Lord kept me from finding them.

Only a couple hours later the police called saying they had found it. It was abandoned in a field only a mile away from my house. The only reason I never checked that area was because it was across a major road that had a long stoplight, and I figured those thieves wouldn't have wanted to deal with that in a quick getaway. Kyle drove me over to where my truck was. I couldn't believe it...the engine was still warm. They had just left it not too long ago! If I had driven over there, I definitely would've seen the thieves. Again, I think that was the Lord. I looked inside, and it was pretty destroyed. Thankfully, it was mostly electrical damage. They hadn't taken anything except for my speakers and aftermarket gauges. But they had reached under my dash and ripped apart all of the wiring in their attempt to hotwire it. I had to chuckle a bit. They didn't know about my electrical fuel pump. They had cut power to it, and probably just drove the truck until it used up all the gas that was in the lines to the engine. They just ripped out what accessories they could hold and bailed as they realized they weren't getting any further. I eventually got the truck home and felt a little better, knowing I wouldn't have to deal with buying a new car...but the rage still stayed in my heart. 

Maybe a week later, a friend came over to my place because I was going to work on her car. She heard about my truck being stolen and asked me about it. As I explained what happened, and told her about how angry I was, she asked me a question that stopped my heart from burning. I don't know if she knew what she was saying, or what the question would mean to me, but she asked, "Can you imagine that that anger is what the Lord feels when we sin against him?" 

I don't know what I responded, but I think I mumbled something like, "Yeah....pretty crazy." When she left, I started thinking. Oh my goodness. I had never felt anger like this before. Never. Of course I had been angry, but this was personal. And I didn't deserve what happened to me. But it hit me...that is what the Lord feels about our sin against him. He is holy, deserving nothing ever done against him, and his rage must be exponentially greater than what I was feeling. What happened to me was one thing, one day, from one person (or two). The Lord is sinned against by billions of people, continually, every day. And how did he respond? 

Jesus.

His response to our sin against him was Jesus. His only son. His perfect son.

He did not pour out his wrath on us sinners. He does not smite us as soon as we sin against him. And he also does not just chuckle and say, "It's no big deal! Just some little sin." Oh no, trust me...our God is a holy and just God. Our sin matters. His wrath was in full in response to our sin. But he chose to pour out that wrath on his son Jesus Christ as he hung naked, bloody, and beaten on that cross 2,000 years ago. His perfect son Jesus! He did nothing wrong! And yet he took on the full weight of the consequences of our sin. 

I was shaken and somber as all of this hit me. Because I was angry, I had a small picture into what the Lord must feel about sin. And I saw that the way he deals with it is not of this world. I wanted to murder those thieves. I doubt I would have done that if I had actually found them, but that doesn't change the hate that was in my heart. Looking at what God did for us, responding like him would've been me driving, pursuing these thieves, but upon finding them, not taking out my rage on them, but saying, "I forgive you guys. Take my keys. You don't deserve this truck, but it looks like you need it." and bearing the loss of a vehicle on myself with no bitterness in my heart.

Even though the rage was slowly subsiding within me, imagining that kind of response was still unthinkable. No way could I have done that. But after spending some time thinking about all of this, my heart did change. I ended up praying for those guys. I didn't know where or who they were, but I hoped somehow that they would hear the good news of what Jesus has done for us sinners. And I knew that I was just as sinful as those thieves. I have stolen my own set of things from the Lord. And it is paid for completely by my glorious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Who did not stay dead, by the way. :)