Eternal Minds
"For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city to come." Hebrews 13:14
I remember one of the first conversations Dorothy and I had was about eternity. I didn't know her well at all, and I'll admit I was trying a little bit to impress her with some good conversational skills. At the very least, I wanted her to know what I was about, and I certainly didn't want to be about small talk. I wanted her to see that on the top of my list of cares, I cared about things above.
I was talking about my thoughts on heaven, what heaven will be like when we get there. I don't remember exactly how it came up in conversation, but I was sharing how I have this picture of heaven in my head where every believer is sitting at a round table that fits us all, and we each take a turn to tell our life story, sharing who we were on earth, how Jesus saved us, and not neglecting any important details. As each person shared, slowly every believer present would start to see how all our lives connected and intersected. We would see how one thing we did affected another, until the very end. I imagine this would bring up plenty of extra side discussions as these realizations happen, and of course this would take a very long time, but that would be okay because we have eternity.
"For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city to come." Hebrews 13:14
I remember one of the first conversations Dorothy and I had was about eternity. I didn't know her well at all, and I'll admit I was trying a little bit to impress her with some good conversational skills. At the very least, I wanted her to know what I was about, and I certainly didn't want to be about small talk. I wanted her to see that on the top of my list of cares, I cared about things above.
I was talking about my thoughts on heaven, what heaven will be like when we get there. I don't remember exactly how it came up in conversation, but I was sharing how I have this picture of heaven in my head where every believer is sitting at a round table that fits us all, and we each take a turn to tell our life story, sharing who we were on earth, how Jesus saved us, and not neglecting any important details. As each person shared, slowly every believer present would start to see how all our lives connected and intersected. We would see how one thing we did affected another, until the very end. I imagine this would bring up plenty of extra side discussions as these realizations happen, and of course this would take a very long time, but that would be okay because we have eternity.
Anyhow, it was fun to talk about, and the conversation left an impression on both of us enough for us to keep recalling it as time passed in our days together. Different situations kept arising in our life, really hard ones or just somewhat hard ones. Through these different times, the only answer that gave us peace was eternity. Knowing that we do not belong here, we belong somewhere else. Death of a family member, being separated thousands of miles across the world, difficulty in communication, death of a loved child, tragic world events... all these things made us ask the questions "Why?" and "How?", and in these moments we have strived to remember that there are better, more perfect days ahead. Days with no pain, doubt, or fear. We will finally be in a place we were created to be forever.
Until then, we live each day knowing that this place we call home for now is filled with all sorts of emotions that we would rather not feel, but must feel. We can expect pain and suffering on this earth. We can hold on hope knowing that this is not the end. We can be comforted by Jesus, how he came to this place and suffered for us, and suffers with us. We will live life together sharing in this.
Life is full of choices. Will we be quick or slow to choose the things that impact the now, that add to our present comfort?
In case we may forget, this is our mission statement that we will point each other back to. Aaron and Dorothy, living with bodies on this earth and with minds set on heaven.
and for eternity.
"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:2-4 ESV
"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21 ESV
Christmas Reflections: 2015
We were both excited for Christmas this year. We had plans to make gifts for our friends and the idea of creating something together was new and invigorating, especially for Aaron. To see Aaron dig into his creativity and to see how his ideas played out tangibly was eye-opening to me. It helped me appreciate how God made us both different. Watching my best friend grow into something I've enjoyed for so long, made me full and all of a sudden, two brains is better than one. For Aaron, it was a sort of a prophetic analogy of our relationship: working hard on something together, using both of our strengths, but to serve others around us because of how God has loved us. Isn't that kinda what our marriage will look like in total one day?
This was our second Christmas together as a couple, which meant that we could "officially" start some traditions within our relationship, which is fun. This year, we were able to sit down and discuss together what we'd buy for our families for instance-- what to buy or make and when to send (since Aaron's family lives in the Midwest). I looked forward to having Aaron with me at my home church in Olympia for our annual Christmas evening service and also being at Rainier Valley Church's Christmas Eve service. (It was special this year, because Aaron got the opportunity to preach to the little ones on stage.) After service, we went to the home of our good friends, the Radfords, which was especially cool because I was hoping for that even before Aaron brought it up. We did this last year and I enjoyed spending time with their little girls, who are growing up way too fast in my opinion.
There were plans to spend time with a variety of our community- my family in Olympia, church friends, childhood friends. And in the midst of it all, we were hoping to get rest too. This was a little bit too ambitious we quickly learned. But we wouldn't have had it any other way.
One of Aaron's favorite movies to watch every Christmas is A Wonderful Life and I jumped on board. It really is a great movie-- we watched it last year too! His parents had also sent us our gifts in the mail days earlier, and it was so fun to Skype them Christmas morning and open our gifts in front of them and vice versa. Christmas stockings had never been a thing in my family and to open up a big box of gifts and to get my own stocking from the McCarty family was such a warm feeling. (Thank you Mama McCarty!) We are planning on spending Christmas in the Midwest next year and I can't wait. Reflecting on all of this, it makes me so very excited to begin our own traditions one day with Aaron one day :)
Warsaw, Indiana
This is a very belated post, but better late than never, right? We made it to Aaron's hometown of Warsaw, Indiana this last August via Chicago. At this point, we had been dating for about nine months. Our plans for the weekend were to simply spend time with his family, but I felt as if we managed to make it very full with memories and rest. It actually felt like a vacation, which was so nice and needed. A lot of people asked if I was nervous prior to coming out, since it would be my first time meeting his entire family, but I was excited! I had briefly met his parents over Skype a few months before and it went so well; there was no anxiousness on my end. His brother and sister-in-law (Caleb and Brianna) also made the drive in from Cleveland, where they currently live. I knew Aaron was happy for the chance for everyone to be together.
We got into South Bend, Indiana on a Thursday evening on a train, where his parents picked us up. They took us out to dinner, where I was grilled by his parents (just kidding!). But they did ask questions, mostly his mom (Hi Stacy!). It was a nice to have some time with just the four of us before going home to everyone else. The drive to Warsaw was about 45 minutes or so; I don't recall entirely because I was drifting in and out of sleep. To be honest, I don't remember much of the drive except for the last five minutes when we approached the McCarty home :) We were greeted by his sister, Hannah, Caleb and Brianna and they were so, so, so welcoming. I already felt at home, which is easy since Aaron was with me the entire time ;)
The next morning, I slept in and woke up to breakfast being made by Aaron's older brother, Jason. He had bought a bunch of groceries and let us pick out what we wanted in our omelettes. Yummy in my tummy. The girls had a morning out on Winona Lake while the boys stayed at home working on Pops' motorcycle. We checked out some fun shops, including a new candy shop called Rocket Fizz (pictured below) that had all the treats and soda you could possibly ever want. We stopped at one of Hannah's favorite tea spots called Spice Merchants and I picked up some Red Rocks loose leaf tea by her recommendation. This tea is made up of South African Rooibos, vanilla and almond bits. Smells good, full of antioxidants and it's caffeine-free! I RECOMMEND FOR SURE. We also stopped by Mud Love, an organization that makes and sells products to support clean water projects in Africa. Stacy was so sweet and let me pick out some charms for a necklace.
When we got home, I got the chance to go on my first ride on a motorcycle with Aaron! :) It was so wonderful to ride around his hometown and take in the summer air. A perfect afternoon. That evening, we had dinner with his family and ended the night out with the siblings. My friend, Kayla, also met up with us that night. I had met her when I was in Uganda earlier that year. Small world right? Kayla was back in Indiana to finish her last semester at Grace College.
Dreams do come true.
The next morning, I slept in again. (Man, this was really starting to feel like a vacation!) Aaron took me out on a lunch date at Cerulean (where he worked for some time) for the two of us to get some down time together. Sushi in the Midwest huh? Well, we got some bento boxes and it was actually pretty good. Of course, he looked so handsome right? We got to take the motorcycle and I pretended to pose as if I could ride the thing. (ONE DAY!) We stopped at Light Rail Roaster, which used to be a bakery Aaron worked at for some coffee and was on our way back home. We met up with everyone again and made an hour drive out to Elkhart to visit Aaron's Grandma Nifong. I saw some baby pictures! Yeah! It was a great visit and I'm sure his grandmother loved seeing all of us.
That evening, we enjoyed some board games with everyone and when it was dark, Aaron and I went out to his yard and attempted to watch the stars. He had told me how he would often come home after work and lay in the bed of his truck and look at the stars. Of course the night we decide to do this, it was cloudy... but it was still nice to be able to do this with him, since we had talked about it for some time.
Sunday was our last day in town. We went to church with the family and afterwards, took some family photos in Winona Lake. I was very excited to do this for Mama McCarty and everyone looked great with all the hints of blue :) The shoot didn't take too long (you can see a few below) and we enjoyed a delicious lunch together at Boathouse Restaurant. When we got home, we had some post-church discussion and all prayed together.
I met up with Kayla again for a coffee date with Aaron afterwards. There are absolutely no coffee shops open on Sundays- something I'm definitely not used to coming from Seattle, but we managed to meet at a Starbucks inside a grocery store. It was so good to see Kayla and re-live some memories we made in Uganda, but also talk about current life shenanigans. (Update on Kayla, because she's rad-- she graduated early December and is now back in Uganda!) Thanks for the photos of us together, Aaron :) That evening, we met with Aaron's Grandma Mac and her new husband, Dale. I had truly met the whole family!
Aaron's parents drove us back to Chicago the next morning and we were off. I really can't wait until we're able to make it out there again (hopefully this winter for the holidays!) Sure, there isn't as much to do there, but the time away from real life was so wonderful and I loved his family. I can't wait to be a part of it!
Dorothy did a great job recording the details of our trip, and honestly I'm impressed with her memory. For me, what we did and where we went doesn't stick to my mind as much as what the trip meant for my heart and for our relationship. It's a nerve-racking thing-- to have someone meet your family. I mean, it shouldn't be. I love my family to death, but there's always that thought in the back of my mind that maybe they're too weird. Like a body part or a certain way that you talk that you're embarrassed about. We shouldn't be embarrassed about the things that make us who we are, and there is a lot of vulnerability in showing these things to a girlfriend. Though Dorothy is the most genuine, loving, care-free person I know, I still had questions in my head like, "Will this change the way she sees me or thinks about me?"
What happened over this trip gave me so much joy and peace. My family and Dorothy got along splendidly. I shouldn't have been surprised. And even more than that, I experienced sides of my family (and of Dorothy) that I had never seen before, even in the 24 years of my life. It was amazing for me to see how Dorothy's personality brought out different things in each of my family members in a way that I never could. An example would be the girls and their group dynamic. The men in our family have always outnumbered the women, and adding Dorothy to the mix makes the total count 4 and 4. The girls going out together while the guys stayed home? I don't think I've seen that happen before! Imagining them all just getting along on their own, being able to do things that interest them, while us guys stay at home talking and doing things that interest us but maybe not them... super cool. This is just one easy example to share, but there were plenty more which mostly had to do with Dorothy's outgoing personality and seeing my family all so attracted to her (again, not surprised about that.)
All of this to say, it was a trip that brought security and relief in my decision to pursue Dorothy. Not that a bad experience would have stopped me, but knowing that I have the full support of my family makes it that much more legitimate and confident of a decision.
The crazy thing? This was just ONE trip. While we were dating. I'm thinking about the many, many trips we will have as a married couple, and I'm looking forward so greatly to all the things we will experience anew as a tiny bit bigger (and more balanced) family.
-A